This is how we give External Practical Paper in IPU !

I reached our college at 9:45am and our first lecture time is 8:30am. But we were happy reaching college late because we are free from boring lectures for more than two months as papers are going on. We are having practical papers and then we’ll have written external papers so we are free from our college for some time.

Savlani was looking into his book as if he was searching something expensive that he would have lost in his book. Pawan was sitting next to him was doing the same but he had opened two books and a practical file at a time and was discovering something special there so he was busy in doing that. I was surprised when I saw Verma holding book looking towards the roof of the classroom, as if he was asking god for some sexy girls who would sleep with him the next night.  Khurana was busy in studying some important stuffs from a book holding on his lap.

‘Wot doin?’ the message came on my phone when I was studying with Gyan in library.

‘juss opnd buk…u?’ I replied back.

‘I’ve fini rvision n roamin nw,’ she replied. Yes, she was Tanya and she had already finished whole syllabus and I was still to start the syllabus.

‘Will you please stop messaging her?’ the voice reached my ears.

‘Let me send last message then I’ll study,’ I said to Gyan who was getting angry with me just for messaging her.

‘You have not studied even a single page and now I’m teaching you all the experiments then you are busy in messaging, do yourself I’m not going to teach you,’ he said looking into his heave EMI book.

‘Okay okay, I’m not going to message her, please teach me,’ I said turning pages of EMI book.

 ‘Hey, the external is asking all guys of first group to perform the experiments otherwise he’ll fail all of them,’ Ranaji said from behind.

‘What the hell is this…’ Gyan said standing up and I started checking out inbox of my phone for some new messages from her.

‘You study now, pagal,’ this was the last message on my phone.

‘Ranaji, it’s impossible, we have never performed any experiment after first year, let me check it out myself,’ I said.

‘I’ve not done even a single experiment, how will I perform experiment there,’ I said.

‘Haan beta, aur ja lab bunk maar kar Tanya se milne, aaj to tu gaya,’ Gyan said smiling.

‘Shut up and come with me,’ I said to Gyan keeping my phone into my jeans’ pocket.

We waited standing for some time around EMI lab. Then I was Vinay was coming out lab and I ran towards him and started asking what was going on in the lab. Vinay was in hurry and said first two experiments are from LVDT and next three are from Strain gauze entering boys’ washroom.

‘Hey, what about external…is he asking you guys to perform experiments?’ I asked him when he was unzipping his jeans in the wash room.

‘Nope, but he is asking very tough questions, the questions are not given in book,’ he continued. I kept asking questions following him from washroom to the EMI lab. I was a window opened a little bit then I opened it  and saw Vaid was standing there.

‘Hey, come here,’ I called Vaid.

‘Which is your experiment?’ I asked.

‘It’s very tough, it’s strain gauze, bro,’ he said.

‘Go and check the name and number of experiments now, I’m standing here,’ I said to him.

‘Bro, all experiments are mixed up,’ he said and started checking out the answer sheets of other guys’. He gave me list of all the experiments and their number accordingly.

‘Let me make farre of last four experiments and you make that of first four experiments,’ I said to Mandal who reached late in library.

‘You ass, you never study, I’m seeing you both from first sem, you guys never study for practicals and make farre before external,’ Gyan said form my left hand side.

‘Few guys like you are very kaamchor, who despite knowing the importance of farre never make them and use to ask for them in lab,’ Mandal fired back.

‘I finished copying everything, all the diagrams with notations and theories, with results and precautions with correct serial number.

‘Hey, look look, the second group guys are standing near lab gate, let’s go,’ Ranaji said and we started packing our books and files.

We all entered the EMI lab and it was Mandal who picked the sheet and I was the second who got experiment number 7 and he got 3^rd. I was happy to get number 7 because it was schering bridge and I had farra of this experiment and I took out farre from my jacket pocket and copied each single word and neat and clean diagram in fifteen minutes.

‘O madarc**d, file idhar de,’ the voice reached my ears  and I got distracted from my work. The voice was familiar and my regular readers can guess who was the stud with such a nice tongue. He was asking Khurana for EMI file that he stole from the heap of file to take pics of the experiment that he got for his paper. Savlani started taking pics of the experiment that he got to perform. We all finished writing all the theories and diagrams within half an hour.

‘Sir, I’ve written theory and diagrams now I need a capacitance box and a headphone to perform the experiment,’ I said to the lab assistant.

‘Which is your experiment?’ he asked.

‘Scering bridge,’ I said.

‘Come with me,’ he said and I started escorting him towards the closed almirah that contains such materials in the lab.

‘What is the number of your experiment?’ he asked.

‘Sir, 7^th,’ I answered.

‘Okay, search the sheet containing experiment number 7 from this,’ he said pointing towards a heap of sheets.

‘Here it is,’ I said taking out a sheet written number 7 on the top. I don’t know why was he asking me to do so but something started going in my mind when he asked me to look number 7 sheet.

‘Go and copy the calculations as fast as possible,’ he said.

‘Okay sir, but……,’ I started.

‘Do it fast, otherwise they will come, they’ve gone for lunch so finished before they reach,’ he said.

‘Thank god,’ I said to myself because I didn’t perform any experiment in this semester and it was the first day I saw so many new equipments in the lab but I was confident that I would perform the experiment because I had already discussed it with Mandal.

Roll number 84, 85, 86 and 87 the voice reached and we all started rushing towards our own places because we all were standing in a group discussing what is going to be asked and external came and called shouting these roll numbers.

Every time when such group of four came back from giving viva to the external we all use to ask what type of questions are being asked there despite knowing that the external may ask anything from anywhere but it’s the custom of this college so I was also a part of this discussion. And it was quite interesting to see the faces of the guys who were coming from viva.

‘Hey, what did he ask you?’ I asked Savlani when he returned from viva.

‘He is asking some inertia type questions which is out of course,’ Savlani said.

‘What’s that?’we all shouted once.

‘One question is common that the external is asking all the students,’ Verma said from behind and we all started looking towards Verma and pulled him circling him.

‘Is it from strain gauze or LVDT?’ Mandal asked Verma.

‘It’s very simple question, Verma said and our ears focused more towards Verma than Savlani.

‘Show me your answer sheet,’ Verma said and one guy from us started showing his answer sheet to Vemra.

‘You are a real ass, the external is asking all the students this question,’ Verma said.

‘Hoooo,’ we all shouted and laughing.

‘Hey, its our turn now,’ Mandal said from behind.

‘I looked towards the external and saw two of our group had already placed their asses on the hot seat so I ran towards my seat.

‘Good morning sir,’ I said taking my seat. It was actually almost noon because the needle of my watch was touching 12:30 but it was quite hard to judge its morning or noon so I said good morning.

‘Show me your sheet,’ the external asked me and I flashed my sheet to him. He saw my sheet turning few pages and put his signature there and gave back to me. He did the same with the sheets of the next two guys and now it was the turn of the sheet of the stud from my group.

‘Hey, what is this?’ the external asked our stud putting his index finger at the top of the sheet where the experiment number was written.

‘Who the hell did it,’ the external shouted and I started looking at the sheet in his hand. I saw something strange on his sheet.

‘Sir, sir did it,’ the stud said. He was non other than Pawan who tried something new in his answer sheet that Savlani also tried with his. It was written number 3 experiment but the external turned red faced because number 3 was new and the old number was overwritten and turned to 3. I don’t know why Pawan tried it because we all use to keep some farre that contain almost all experiment.

‘Okay, now tell me what’s piezoresistive effect?’ the external asked Pawan and he answered well. The external repeated the same question to Shishpal and Mandal and they answered the same. And it was my turn to give answer but he stopped me and asked ‘have you heard piezoelectric effect?’. I thought for a while and gave the answer making some diagrams with expressions to satisfy the external.

‘How will the length change effect resistivity?’ the teacher sitting next to external asked Pawan. He gave his answer and the process of giving the answer was same moving from Pawan towards me.

I started writing equation of resistivity and solved it and gave my answer in detail. The external started looking at me, as if I gave wrong answer but I was confident that I was right. Then he asked Mandal another question then I interrupted saying, ‘ sir, may I try the answer of last question?’

‘Of course you can, but you try it million of times you’ll give wrong answer for sure,’ he said……………….

Ramayana Drama in Comm Viva!

‘Good morning sir,’  I said and Gyan started laughing.

‘Good morning,’ He said.

‘Sir, how are you?’ I asked.

‘I’m fine,’ He said.

‘Sir, your laptop seems to be new, it’s a dell, it’s the best laptop brand in market,’ I said bending down and checking sir’s laptop. Yes, I was standing in a teacher’s cabin and was discussing something like this and Gyan was laughing continuously, as if I was making fun of that teacher, but I was not.

‘You ass, I asked not to laugh here, let me do my work,’ I said Gyan kicking him.

‘Oye, sir ka phone dekh na, ye b new hai,’ Gyan said from behind.

‘Shut up,’ he said.

‘Did you check our papers?’ I asked.

‘Nope,’ he said.

‘Why are you here?’ the teacher asked.

‘Sir, my stomach is paining, so I was thinking if you take our viva then I can leave for my place,’ I said making an expression as if my stomach was really paining.

'Okay, I'll take your viva,' the teacher said.

‘But why do you want him to give to viva early before time?’ the teacher asked.

‘He is my neighbor, so I want to go with him, because I need a person who can support me if I’ll fall uncuncous in bus,’ I said and Gyan again started laughing standing behind me. All I wanted was to give communication viva early and save time for studying EMI because EMI is tougher than Comm.

‘Okay, come in communication lab,’ the teacher said.

‘Hey, Sonia ma’am is coming for viva now,’ one of us said.

All the students of eee branch were sitting on their seats and the viva was half over but Sonia ma’am interrupted in the middle and came to take viva. And she is a nightmare for the students, this was also one reason for me to give vava before the scheduled time. All were mugging up everything whatever was written in the  comm file, few were looking into books, as if he was going to get something special from their books. Savlani and Khurana  were busy in his job of making fun of others, Verma was checking out some girls’ figure and was discussing about the girls’ private parts time and again after analyzing them.

‘If you are ready to come before 15^th of December then we can force our college management to schedule our external practical exams before 15^th,’ Pushpdeep asked Dhapor sang.

Vikas, Pushapdeep, Aman were discussing about the external practical exams. They wanted to force the college management to take external practical exams before 15^th of December so that we would get more time for the preparations of our external written exams.

Yes, they are the Jaat guys and they are the bosses and heroes of our college and they can do anything and college management listen only to them so Pushpadeep was inquiring students for coming according to him for external exams. Jaat guys do whatever they want to do in our college. Once I cursed myself in first year for not taking birth in Jaat family because I had a fight with seniors and I had to say sorry to the seniors. If I were a jaat guy then I would have kicked the asses of seniors badly.

Few studs were feeling unlucky sitting in front of Sonia ma’am for viva. They were Mandal, Pawan, Ranaji and Bihari anticlockwise. Pawan was adjusting his specs time and again, Mandal was busy in scanning ma’am cleavage, Ranaji was sitting ideal, and Abhishek Bihari was discussing something to the teacher sitting next to Sonia ma’am. She was looking at the faces of all the unlucky feeling students in front of her.  They had kept their files on the table in front of ma’am.

‘Kya dekh rahe ho?’ ma’am asked Mandal when he was continuously scanning ma’am cleavage.

‘Nothing, ma’am,’ Mandal said adjusting his chair.

‘Shall I start viva?’ ma’am asked.

‘Yes, Ranaji said.

‘Okay, let me start with you,’ she said pointing her index finger towards Ranaji and Ranaji started adjusting himself on his seat.

‘What is modulation?’ she flashed her first question on Ranaji.

‘Modulation is a process in which we increase power of a signal to transmit any information or message.

‘Very good, can you tell me the unit of power?’ she flashed the second question.

‘Ma’am unit of power is HORSE,’ Ranaji answered looking at ma’am.

‘Horse power,’ Ranaji corrected.

‘Wow, listen, all of u please pay your attention on the answer of your friend,’ ma’am shouted and all the rest students started focusing on ma’am’s words closing their books and files. But Verma, Savlani, and Khuarana were still busy in their jobs.

‘Beta, the unit of power was DOG once, horse is the new version of the unit of power.

‘Ha ha ha ha,’ all started laughing except Ranaji, ma’am and the teacher sitting next to ma’am.

‘Shut up you all,’ ma’am shouted again and whole comm lab became quiet.

‘I’m feeling shame to be the teacher of you guys, what type of engineers you students are going to be, you guys are future of India,’ ma’am started with these words coming in her original mood.

‘What is the value of your HORSE power?’ ma’am asked Ranaji.

‘Ma’am, it’s value is given,’ Ranaji answered.

‘Wow, given value,’ ma’am shouted again.

‘Can you show me your feet,’ ma’am asked Ranaji.

‘Why ma’am?’ Ranaji asked.

‘Have you heard about Ramayana, where Bharat had brought the khadao(wooden slipper) of his elder brother lord Ram ji and kept them on the chair of king and used to supposed them to be king and  worship them when lord Ram ji refused to return home from jungle,’ ma’am shouted.

‘So I want to take your chappals from your feet and will keep them on the chair of the HOD of the communication department,’ She said and again all the student sitting there started chuckling. The atmosphere of lab became warmer in this cold weather of December, so the guys were enjoying sitting there.

‘We all will worship your  and move round and round of your chappals  as this would be supposed to be the HOD of comm department and whole electric and communication department will run according to your chappals.......