Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Overconfidence fuks really very hard.

 You all submit your files, the proffesor was announcing as I entered the Electrical machines lab.
Yes , this was our major practical exam.
I saw few of my classmates were busy in writing the aim of the expeiments on thier answer sheets and some were standing near the proffesor to have thier answer sheets and the name of the experiments which they had to perform.
I didn't submit my file and rushed towards the students who were writing the aim of the experiments and some intelligent guys were writing theory portions.
Yes, we have to write aim and theory of the experiments and then draw the diagrams here in IP University.

Hey, which one, I asked few of those guys.
Load test, Induction motor etc....and I heard some piculear names of the experiments.
Here is my file, copy theory and diagrams from my file as fast as possible, I said to them.
Do fast you assholes, the external is about to enter, I said finishing one's diagram.
Yes, its illegal but I don't care but if I could have cought, you guys can guess the concequense.

You are late again, the prof. asked me as I reached near the table full of files.
I am sorry sir, I was revising my experiments outside the lab, I said submitting my file.
Okay,whatever, take it and write the aim of experiment and sign on the attendence sheet.

What the hell, I don't know this experiment, I said to myself.
Yes, this is the first time I had gone to my electrical machine's lab,so  I didn't have any idea about any of the experiments.
Hey priyanka, you got the same experiment, how you are going to write,I asked rushing towards a girl to whom I only talk during my exams.
Yes, I talk very less to girls but I become their friend during exams days.
I have brought some farra, take it and go away from me, she told me giving some papers which were folded nicely. Girls are very expert in this farra field.
I finished copying theory and diagram first from the farra . I completed very fast. The speed of my pen increses upto ten times while copying in the exams. Savlani always says your pen move with the speed of jet when I competed my all four files in one day only.

Your roll number 200, 201,202,203  the butcher was asking us in the clockwise.
Yes, we all four were siting infront of the external, who was about to fry us on all the nook and corner of the elecrical machines.
What is the basic differnce between cage and slipring motor, he asked Shishpal who was roll number 203.
He gave the answer then the external reached  me after hearing the answer of the guy sitting next to me.
Sir, I have to do other experiment, I said.
Okay, but first answer this easy question, he said.
Yes, the question was very easy as even Bibhanshu the guy who  never cleared any paper can answer this question, but I said pass sir, I don't know the answer.
Smart, huh, show me your answer sheet, he said to me.
What is this, he asked me poiting towards one portion of the diagram from my answer sheet.
Three phase  winding of the stator, I answered as fast as possible.
Can you tell me please, how windings are formed in the stator, he flashed the next question.
Sir windings are formed over the stator, like this-like this, I said waving my hands towards him speedly.
You know what you are saying, he said.
You are wrong, how can you be an ENGINEER, he continued.
Sir, I think I am right, I said.
What the hell, you are talking as if you have made stator yourself, he said.
I have not made it but when I was studying this topic, I imagined that the winding can be formed like this,I started again waving my both hands speedly.

You know, whom you are talking to, he said.
Sir,fail him, he can't even talk properly, I just want him to be failed, the external shouted on the prof.,who was half sleeping sitnig next to the external.
Ofcourse sir, I 'll definitely fail him, whats your roll number,the sleepy proffesor asked me.
201, I said.
You are smart enough, you don't know whom you are talking to, you are a small kid infront of me, get out the lab, you are failed, the red faced external shouted at me.
He wrote f -(failed), infront of my name and roll number, I saw while going out of the lab.


Everybody was gazing at me when I came out of the college after 4:30 pm.
Some were smiling and some called me and started asking the whole story of the lab viva stuff.
I don't know,why a small issue is fled like fire in jungle in my college.
Few of my friends came near me and said its first time in IPU, that a guy is going to fail in practile exam.
Fuck off you rascals, I said and moved towards the ground, but how can I escape from the boss of this college. He is jatt guy, he called me.
I had no other option and had to go to him and explained all the viva stuff then he patted me and said well done dude. Few of the sutds from other branches were looking at me as if I had murdered that idiot external.

You should contact HOD, he can do something for you, Mukesh said me.
Yes, this is the guy who always joins me whenever I am in trouble.
Buddy, HOD knows me better he will never help me, I said.
But you should try atleast, he said.
Okay, but i'll contact external because he knows nothing about me, I said.
Okay, lets go, but I'll stand outside his chamber, Mukesh said.

May I come in sir, I asked.
Come in, the external said.
I am sorry sir, I said as I reached inside.
What sorry, you don't know me, where I have come from, he asked the same question here.
Yes sir, I know you have come from Jamia Millia university, I replied.
Jamia, huh, I am from DCE, delhi college of engineering, he said as if he was from MIT, USA.
Control your attitude, he continued.
Ohh, you are here, my prof. said entering the chamber.
Sir, you know nothing about him, he always disturb the whole class, my prof. continued.
HOD also entered the same time and said you are here stud.
Sir, he is the most notorious student of our college, one day I cought him with his I-Pod, he was listening music during my lecture. He doesn't like to bring notebook and pen, HOD continued......
A baby lamb is about to be cut by three butchers, I was thinking.

Do you have any back paper, the external asked me.
No sir, I don't have, I said confidently.
Yes, I lied, I do have backs in my last semsester.
Okay, you should control your attitude and think before speaking anything to the person whom you don't know, the external said.
Work hard and say sorry to sir, my prof. said me.
Sorry sir, I said as I had only this word to say infront of the three butchers.
I came out as fast as possible and yes, Mukesh was waiting for me outside.
What happened, he asked............

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Albake's Swarma and Ishita.....

Bhya come here fast, Savlani shouted on a waiter.
Couldn't  you idiot see us, go and bring ten swarmas and five cokes, Savlani said to the waiter as he reached there.
Awsome, thats why I love it, Khurana said.
Yes, Khurana is always very fast on food, I don't know why.

As we finished our Swarma, I noticed two women were looking at us.
Yes, it was the time to pay for the tasty Swarma, the wiater was waiting for the payment.
I thought the two women were waithing for our table to be free, but they were moe interested in the  fight which we were having there for the payment as Savlani ate two more and he wanted us to pay equally.
Waiter was waiting holding bill  in his hand.
It always takes ten to fifteen minutes to pay for anything in sharing for us.

Keep in the left, I have some important work here in South Ex, I said to Pawan.
Buddy, I have to reach home as soon as possible, my mom is calling, Khurana said.
Why are you lying you ass, why don't you say that you have to give tutions to some small kids, Vaid said.
 
Wait for five minutes I am coming and Vaid come with me, I said and rushed towads Puma showroom.
I flashed the receipt on the counter and asked for my shoes.
Yes, I had given my shoes here to exchange because it was in warranty period and there was a pasting problem in it.
I am really very sorry sir, your shoes are still here, we have to send them to company, the counter boy said.
Where is your manager call him right now, Vaid shouted.
All the Puma staffs circled around us as Vaid was shouting a lot.

Hi sir, good evening, whats the problem, the manager siad as he reached the counter.
Ask your staff, he gave us three days to return the shoes but its fifth day, this is the way you Puma people treat your customers, red faced Vaid continued.
You, just wait I am calling my uncle who is a sales' tax inspector, Vaid said.
Wait Vaid, let me talk, I interrupted.
Sir, I have come from Rohini only for my shoes and  its wastage of our 5 hours, its our paper time, I said to manager.
When are you giving it, I mean tell me the exact date, I said.
Sir, please come on the day after tomorrow, you will get it, manager said.
Okay, I said.
Thank you sir, manager said.
What thank you, Vaid started again, but I stopped him and forced him to come out.

How was it, Vaid asked.
What, I asked.
Dialagouge, the dialogue man, manager got scared, eh, Vaid said.
You ass, you were just making him fool, I said.
Yep, he deserved that, Vaid said.

Whats going on in the car, all the rest studs had stuck thier heads near phone, I asked.
Ssshhhhh...Pawan told us to be silent and asked us to focus our ears near the phone.
You don't know me, I alredy had slept with almost eleven guys, and phone s*x is only for small kids, the voice reached my ears as I reached near the phone.
Whats this, who is on the other side, I asked.
ssshhhh..shut up you asshole, just listen, she is Ishita, Vaid gave me her number in the morning today, she is a complete fun yaar, Savlani said me.
She is in 10th standard, and listen to her, Savlani continued but who listens to him, I was concentrating on the phone............

Friday, April 23, 2010

Albake's Swarma.......

Your phone is vibrating, a voice reached my ears.
It was my didi's voice as I was sleeping in her home. I generally put my  phone on vibration  whenever I use to be here because she doesn't  like frequent messages and calls on my phone.
It was a landline number.
Hello, I said.
Hello, the other side replied.
Whos this, I asked.
Your daddy speaking my son, what are you doing, the other side replied.
It was not my dad's voice, I was sure. I was half sleeping so I switched off my phone.
Coffee, your coffee bro, get out of bed, you always sleep, you lazy creature,its 4:30 pm, dii said and put the coffee tray on the table.
Its awsome  dii, you rally make nice coffee, I said.
Yes, I do, she replied.
I switched on my phone and put that right on the table there.
Hii buddy, waas up, pawan was on the other side.
Hey hii, hows you, I asked.
Fine buddy, what are you doing today, we are going to Albake, pawan said.
Wow, for Swarma, right, I am ready, when  are we going, I asked.
Let me talk to other guys and I'll message you after that, and you have to reach Pitampura metro station, bye, pawan said and disconnected the phone.


Swarma is a type of chiken roll, which is very famous here in Delhi, but the Swarma of Albake has some special taste.
Albake is a famouos non-veg restorant in south Delhi near New Friends Colony, it is very small but pople fight there for Swarma and other chicken stuffs. It makes nice chiken stuffs because its located near muslim area, I think.

Reach Pitampura metro station by 6:15 pm.  It was a text message from Savlani.
Hello, where are you,  Pawan asked me at 6:15.
I am in metro at Rohini west metro station, I'll be reaching at Pitampura metro station in five minutes, I said.
You ass, I know where the fuck are you, Pawan said as he was able listen the traffic noise.
No, I am not lying buddy, I said.
I know you are not lying, you fucker, reach as soon as possible, bye, pawan said and disconnected the phone.
Yes, I was in a rickshaw going towards Rithala metro metro station.
Hi stud, who are going with us, I asked Pawan and took the front seat in his car.
Where is Savlani, I asked.
He is standing near Blue heavens,we will pick him up there, Pawan said and drove towards ring road.
Receive the call and say that we are near Blue heavens, Pawan said as he doesn't like to lie.
This time there was a call on pawan's phone.
Hii fuckers, where the fuck are you assholes, the voice reached my ears as I received the call.
Yeah, it was Savlani's call.
I don't know why he uses so many f-words in one sentence.
Yes, his sentences starts with abuses, I don't know why.
We are near Bue heavens, where are you, I asked.
You,he didn't recieve the call ,I know where are you fuckers, he said.
There is that idiot, pawan said as pointing his finger towards Savlani.
Hi ass, take it, Savlani offered a cigarette to me and puffed his own and took the back sit.
So why didn't you talk to your dad today, Savlani asked me.
Ohh shitt, it was you, you asshole, thats why I switched off my phone at that time, I said to him.

You people are late again, khurana said .
Yes, Khurana and Vaid joined us near Rajauri garden.
Lets have some shikanjis here first then we'll go, Savlani said coming out of car.
We all enjoyed sikanji as it was quite hot here in Delhi and Pawan doesn't allow us to use ac of his car as we paid only for the petrol of his car.
Sir, who will pay for these shikanjis, the shikanji wallah asked as we were about to leave.
Khurana, my son will pay for all of us, Savlani said.
Pawan will pay as his dad has incresed his pocket money, Khurana said.
Why should I, you pay you ass, you always wear branded and expensive clothes, Pawan said to me.
I don't have even a buck so how can I. I said  giving expression as if I was telling truth.
Fuck you , you beggers, you people always do like this, Savlani said and came out of the car and paid for all of us.
Again house full, where will we sit, khurana said.
Yes, we had reached  Albake the "famous Albake".
Shut up my son, look there, few people are about to leave that table, Savlani said and rushed towards that table.

Yes, Swarma of Albake is very famous chiken roll  thats why people behave here as if they are hungary for so many days. This is the reason we had travelled around 50 kilometres from north Delhi.....

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The girl and the Japnese park cont.....

I reached my home and saw my newpapers lying in the balcony. They were rolled very tightly and tied in a rubber band. I don't know why newspaperwala rolls these so tightly, I hate it, but what can he do, its not his fault as I live on the third floor. He has to do so because he can throw it right on  my floor.
The fight between Tharoor and Modi is going ugly, it was the headline of the Times of  India and the Economic times, so I preferred Economic Times.

Ohh shitttt....how can I forget it, there is no sugar in my coffee, I asked myself.
I forgot it while making it, its not my fault as I was thinking about that pink nike t-shirt girl.
I went inside my kitchen and added some sugar into my coffee.
My phone started ringing, and I rushed towards it.

hi hny.....gm...
u stil joging...??

This was a text message from a girl, Preety.
I don't know why people use these short and funny enlish in messaging as it takes more time to think about these smart short forms. Few of the words cross my head as I don't  message a lot to my friends and I love using simple enlish so I am not habituated to these short, smart and ofcourse funny english short forms......

The girl and the Japnese park...

Its very difficult to lock my door in the morning because of thermal  expansion of heat.
nopes, my door is not made up of metal, its a wooden door but the handle and the lock are mettalic.
As I stepped 50 metres away from my home towards the main road heading towards Japnese park.
Excuse me please, a sweet voice reached my ears.
Yes, I said and turned back. She was a  girl standing near the car parking near the main road. She was in pink nike t-shirt, white nike shorts and  white reebok shoes.
Yes, I notice the brands of the girls' outfits first. Its my bad habit, I know.
Can you help me please, she said coming towards me. The milky white compexion, slim built, round face, eyes and the curly hair were adding a lot to her beauty. In one word I can say she was looking simply awsome.
yes ofcourse, I said as quickly as I heard her words.  Who will not help a lonely girl at 6:00 am, when more than half of  delhites hate to come out of their bed.
Look at those stray dogs who are gazing me for the last ten minutes so that I am standing here, so please help me to cross the main road, the girl said.
No problem, they are not biting dogs, infact they are my friends as I offer biscuits to them, I said smiling.
Really, you love these stray dogs, the girl said as if she has never loved any animal.
We crossed the raod and I strated walking faster as its my speed of walking in the morning and the girl was walking slowly behind me.
Are you going to Japnese park, I asked the girl.
Yup, she replied.
Okay, I am also going there for jogging so you can join me, I said.
She thought a little bit and said my friend is coming in her car and she has asked me to stay here, she will pick me up here.
Okay,as you wish, I said and increased my walking speed as if I was avoiding her.
Thank you, she said from behind.
The pleasure is all mine, I said and walked away quickly.

Run in the left my son, there are also many people walking here, a rude voice reached my ears.
It was an uncle's voice who was jogging faster than me.
I said nothing as I was dreaming about that girl that if she would have accepted my company then she woluld have been jogging with me and we would have been discussing about these chirping birds,fountains, trees and the lamps which were still blinking.
Yes, I love nature the most.
Everyday when I see this old uncle jogging, I think how an old man in his sixties can take 5 to 6 rounds of this big Japnese park daily as I  take two rounds and sweat starts coming out of every parts of my body.
I saw two girls were walking near a tree where few people were doing baba Ramdev's yoga. I waved my hand towards them and said hi.
Yes, one the two girls was the pink nike t-shirt girl. The girl looked at me once and again got busy talking to her friend.
I felt ashamed but what can I do and walked away towards my home.
Ohh..shittt..., I am a big fool, I have not even asked her name, I said to myself.....

Friday, April 16, 2010

cough, cold and fever...

I started sneezing while I was jogging in the morning and I thought it is due to temperature change. When I reached home I found my body temprerature rising so i took my coffee and then read economics times and Times of India.
After that I took two tabltets at the same time and thought I'll be fine very soon.
But it didn't happen and whole day I wasted my time in sleeping. I think it was due to the two same tablets.
Does two or more same medicines help really to recover faster..??