GATE 2012, (the losers’ story)

GATE-2012 has screwed up most of you. Isn’t it?

All of you’re engineers or going to be the one in few months. Most of you spent 1000 bucks for filling the gate form despite knowing that you’re not going to clear even the cut off. Indians are really very brave. We know that we can’t do it but still love to take a chance, thinking of miracles to be happened. Well, in real life no miracles happen.

Most of you have spent four years of engineering in enjoying fun. Like roaming, watching movies, eating in restaurants, fighting for girls (Imbalanced sex ratio always results into fight in India), drinking beers, vodka, wines, puffing cigarettes and hukkahs, bunking lectures and labs, surfing, reading, liking and sharing facebook stuff, running after girls despite knowing there was not any chance because girls always want a rich guy. Unfortunately, most of you are not rich so are studying engineering to become rich. This is India, rich are tired of being rich and poors want to become rich. But the young girls always need rich guys because they’re very expensive. No, no, I’m not defining the cost of a love. They’re expensive in the sense of expenditure. They’re habitual of going and eating into big restaurants, dancing in the discs, drinking in the pubs and bars, watching cinemas in PVRs (where a single ticket costs 175 bucks or more). Most important fact is that you didn’t study well. You studied at the night just before the engineering semester examinations. some of you who think they’re smart took coaching to clear GATE but failed to clear the cutoff. Let me clear one thing coaching institutes do nothing except making you fools. Fortunately, few of you got girlfriends and enjoyed the fairy tales with her. Those who didn’t get any girl enjoyed his sex life by masturbating and roaming around GB road (a red alert area in Delhi where sex is sold).

Let me come to the point. Why did you fail to do well in the paper? Can you remember Anna Hazare? Yeah, all you know this person. Most of you marched behind him, shouting slogans like ‘Bharat mata ki jai, Vande matram, fuck government off and get India released out of the corruption clutches etc…’. This is India when you stand for anything, Indian (most of them are innocent and honest because our history proves it as we got ruled by many outsiders for hundred of years) just love to walk behind you shouting and repeating the slogans. Same thing happened here in GATE-2012. Most of you don’t even know the full form of these four English letters, G-A-T-E.

Do you know?
Yes?
You’re smart enough!

The same thing happened here. Some of the PSUs announced that they’re recruiting only some engineers through GATE. This became a slogan. Everybody sang this song. And filled the GATE form. Some of you studied hard for it. Some just looked at the formulae. Some took coaching as though the coaching will fix a seat for him/her in PSUs. Some looked at it as an opportunity to fool their parents by saying that GATE will give them jobs so that their parents couldn’t eat their heads for some more time regarding placement. Some just hate to give a damn fucking look at the books. Despite knowing everything you people expected that you would screw up the GATE paper like you've been doing with you engineering semester papers by studying for a night or two and clearing papers with handsome percentage of marks. IITians who’ve already grabbed the placements in big Indian and foreign companies just wrote the paper to feel how smart they are. They thought they could clear the paper without studying hard. In return GATE reped thier ass too. They’re simply the assholes. I just hate IITians. I don’t know the reason!
You people just dint like to give a damn look at the number of vacancies through GATE and filled the form, singing the same song “GATE will give us the jobs, GATE will give us the jobs.” Finally it gave us the blowjobs!

When I was a kid my school teachers always use to tell me that Rome was not built in a day whenever I tried to act smart and looked for some short cuts. I didn’t understand the clear meaning of this proverb. When I became a young man I understood the meaning when my all shortcut failed everywhere.
Most of you’re the same. You didn’t study well so your GATE paper didn’t go well. I’m again repeating my school teacher words ‘Rome was not built in a day’. I don’t know where is Rome and how much time did it take to build it. But I want to say one thing that without studying hard you can’t clear GATE or even smaller examinations which will give the job of security guard.

‘Am I discouraging you?'

‘No, not at all.'

I’m just telling you the truth. Don’t feel bad about what has happened to you. Just keep enjoying your life and give some 2 to 3 hours on your study table everyday you can do what you’ve never dreamt for. You can clear IES, IAS and all the reputed examinations. You’ll get a job for sure. Feel proud to be an engineer. This degree has a magic stick. It will work someday.

Did you like this fucking lecture?

Nope?

Yeah?

Then?