Old Delhi

Old Delhi: the place where you'll like to spend every Sunday morning.
For shopping?
No! We don't have shopping malls there.
Then?
Muslim made chicken?
No, who'll like to eat chicken in the morning.
Then?

GATE 2012, (the losers’ story)

GATE-2012 has screwed up most of you. Isn’t it?

All of you’re engineers or going to be the one in few months. Most of you spent 1000 bucks for filling the gate form despite knowing that you’re not going to clear even the cut off. Indians are really very brave. We know that we can’t do it but still love to take a chance, thinking of miracles to be happened. Well, in real life no miracles happen.

Most of you have spent four years of engineering in enjoying fun. Like roaming, watching movies, eating in restaurants, fighting for girls (Imbalanced sex ratio always results into fight in India), drinking beers, vodka, wines, puffing cigarettes and hukkahs, bunking lectures and labs, surfing, reading, liking and sharing facebook stuff, running after girls despite knowing there was not any chance because girls always want a rich guy. Unfortunately, most of you are not rich so are studying engineering to become rich. This is India, rich are tired of being rich and poors want to become rich. But the young girls always need rich guys because they’re very expensive. No, no, I’m not defining the cost of a love. They’re expensive in the sense of expenditure. They’re habitual of going and eating into big restaurants, dancing in the discs, drinking in the pubs and bars, watching cinemas in PVRs (where a single ticket costs 175 bucks or more). Most important fact is that you didn’t study well. You studied at the night just before the engineering semester examinations. some of you who think they’re smart took coaching to clear GATE but failed to clear the cutoff. Let me clear one thing coaching institutes do nothing except making you fools. Fortunately, few of you got girlfriends and enjoyed the fairy tales with her. Those who didn’t get any girl enjoyed his sex life by masturbating and roaming around GB road (a red alert area in Delhi where sex is sold).

Let me come to the point. Why did you fail to do well in the paper? Can you remember Anna Hazare? Yeah, all you know this person. Most of you marched behind him, shouting slogans like ‘Bharat mata ki jai, Vande matram, fuck government off and get India released out of the corruption clutches etc…’. This is India when you stand for anything, Indian (most of them are innocent and honest because our history proves it as we got ruled by many outsiders for hundred of years) just love to walk behind you shouting and repeating the slogans. Same thing happened here in GATE-2012. Most of you don’t even know the full form of these four English letters, G-A-T-E.

Do you know?
Yes?
You’re smart enough!

The same thing happened here. Some of the PSUs announced that they’re recruiting only some engineers through GATE. This became a slogan. Everybody sang this song. And filled the GATE form. Some of you studied hard for it. Some just looked at the formulae. Some took coaching as though the coaching will fix a seat for him/her in PSUs. Some looked at it as an opportunity to fool their parents by saying that GATE will give them jobs so that their parents couldn’t eat their heads for some more time regarding placement. Some just hate to give a damn fucking look at the books. Despite knowing everything you people expected that you would screw up the GATE paper like you've been doing with you engineering semester papers by studying for a night or two and clearing papers with handsome percentage of marks. IITians who’ve already grabbed the placements in big Indian and foreign companies just wrote the paper to feel how smart they are. They thought they could clear the paper without studying hard. In return GATE reped thier ass too. They’re simply the assholes. I just hate IITians. I don’t know the reason!
You people just dint like to give a damn look at the number of vacancies through GATE and filled the form, singing the same song “GATE will give us the jobs, GATE will give us the jobs.” Finally it gave us the blowjobs!

When I was a kid my school teachers always use to tell me that Rome was not built in a day whenever I tried to act smart and looked for some short cuts. I didn’t understand the clear meaning of this proverb. When I became a young man I understood the meaning when my all shortcut failed everywhere.
Most of you’re the same. You didn’t study well so your GATE paper didn’t go well. I’m again repeating my school teacher words ‘Rome was not built in a day’. I don’t know where is Rome and how much time did it take to build it. But I want to say one thing that without studying hard you can’t clear GATE or even smaller examinations which will give the job of security guard.

‘Am I discouraging you?'

‘No, not at all.'

I’m just telling you the truth. Don’t feel bad about what has happened to you. Just keep enjoying your life and give some 2 to 3 hours on your study table everyday you can do what you’ve never dreamt for. You can clear IES, IAS and all the reputed examinations. You’ll get a job for sure. Feel proud to be an engineer. This degree has a magic stick. It will work someday.

Did you like this fucking lecture?

Nope?

Yeah?

Then?

Yuvraj Singh & The Slow Killer, Cancer

When the word cricket comes in the head of the Indian, only one face starts flashing in our hearts. And that’s Sachin. In the Indian hearts. I’m an Indian. My head is Indian. My heart is Indian. But when cricket comes into my memory, I can see the face and body of only one player. In fact, two players come. One is the famous mad opener Vireder Sehwag and the other middle order hero, Yuvraj Singh.

I’m not saying I don’t like Sachin. I love the way Sehwag and Yuvraj play.

Yuvi is in hospital in US. And everybody knows why he is there. To get the slow killer killed. By the top doctors. It’s really sad to see people crying of cancer. Most of the Indian die of it. Most of them don’t reach US. Is this a reason? No. Not at all!

Well, he is my favorite player. May the reason he is very happy going and joke cracking kind of person be the reason which make me to like him more than the cricket god. It’s quite hard to show my grief and sadness since the moment I’ve read about him in the news papers. I can’t do anything. Except pray. I can stand before some idols of the gods and shed some tears, joining my hands. Unfortunately, gods don’t cure cancer. The doctors can do it only. Plus I don’t have so much spare time to stand holding my hands and shed tears standing before gods. Plus I don’t believe in gods. Plus many Indians die of cancer everyday. Who cares!

Yesterday morning I tried to pray for him when I was walking towards the park then my eyes felt on a temple. The transparent glass door of the temple was opened. I moved closer. I saw there were nine idols which were sitting in a row. I got confused. Whom to pray so that Yuvi will get recovered fastest? I chose the most beautiful Idol. That was of goddess Mata rani. She was in red and golden check saari and golden ornaments hung around her neck and rest of her body. Her lips were shining with bloody red lipstick. Her golden crown was shining a lot and the diamond at the top of it sparkled. She simply looked beautiful. A lot of gold attracted my eyes. People offer prayer with closed eyes. I kept my eyes opened. I stared at the gold whose sky touching rate is increasing day by day and the goddess should have been wearing more and more ornaments.

Okay, let me come to the point. My head started pondering over the beggars who were lying sleeping outside the temple whose half body were out of the torn blanket. Goddess should have looked at the beggars and then to her golden jewelry. Can you notice my head is again running away from a single Yuvraj’s cancer to the beggars and poors and yes to the goddess’s golden stuff.

Then I simply closed my eyes and my eyes and head and heart god filled with the Yuraj’s face. I visualized him into the hospital bed in US. You know, I’ve never been to US. So not into the US hospital’s bed. But I could see my hero lying there and cracking some jokes on the beautiful nurses. I saw the doctors operating him in his chest and taking out the tumor, which was black and looked like scorpion. You know what, I’ve never seen cancer virus but I saw it there in the hospital. I saw some beautiful nurses at whom Yuvi was cracking some jokes some time before were busy in giving the stuff which the doctors demanded. Yuvi kept his eyes closed from beginning to the end. Doctors might have injected something into his body to make his eyes closed and body immovable. The operation was over. Yuvi was brought out. By the beautiful nurses.

‘Beta, kya soch rahe ho,’ some voice hit into my ears and head and my eyes got opened. It was a pundit’s voice.

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I was praying for someone,’ I said, collecting my nerves and head which were there in the hospital in US.

Tired

Delhi public transport is blessed with the fastest and most comfortable Delhi metro.
I've travelled 3 hours in metro today. It was scary. Push. Pull. Dhakka. Mukki.
I've to travel standing like statue. I'm tired like hell. A lot to write about metro ride.
Good night. :)

Revolution 2020

This pic speaks something. :)